Dangit, it’s getting harder and harder to come up with “annoyances” the further this goes on. It’s hard to think back on the things that used to annoy me, I really am changing at a rapid rate. Anyway, today I did notice one that will still take me a long time to get used to:
People start being interested in what I am doing. I made a let’s play video for a game on the youtubes and my roommates obviously overheard me. When I apologized for the noise, they only seemed interested in what I was doing. Today in a restaurant I talked for a long time to some random stranger who turned out to be a nice woman with a learning disability who told me about how she was planning her new holidays. This sort of thing would’ve annoyed me to no end about a month ago, but now I enjoy all human company.
People comment on the little things I do these days. I was carrying a big suitcase around all day because of me moving into my new place and at school someone I didn’t know involved me in a conversation because of it, very friendly guy. This would’ve embarrassed me about a month ago, now it made me really happy. Not that I wasn’t already happy, so I guess “made me happy” is the wrong expression for it – problem is, there is no expression for it, so I’m kinda stuck.
Last of all: women. Women notice me all the time. I get hit on in the train for playing iPad games. Women give me eye contact like they never have before – and believe me, I’d been keeping my eyes open despite my social anxiety. Problem is: now that I’m certain I can get all the women I want I don’t really want all those women anymore. Funny how the world works. Though I’m sure I’ll be starting up a relationship at some point again. Celibacy is doctrine. There is such a thing as enlightened sex, and I know exactly how that’s gonna work, but I know it’ll definitely be a challenge. I can’t wait 🙂
Except, of course, I can. Because that’s what “enlightenment” means, in the end: you can wait.